Get the Flock Outta Here!

Wrong Flock Evicted from Zanesville Lock

Lookin' a little rough around the edges after a night of camping on the Zanesville Lock.

Lookin’ a little rough around the edges after a night of camping on the lock.

I was saddened by a recent report in the Zanesville Times-Recorder about the eviction of more than 100 Canada geese from Putnam Landing Park on the Muskingum River.

On many a night, I’ve camped on the lock across the river from the park and enjoyed watching the people feed them. The geese would be scattered up and down the river. They specifically recognized the vehicles that brought humans to Putnam Landing to feed them. When the vehicles arrived at the park, the geese would converge on the parking lot hell-bent-for-leather, flapping, honking and jockeying for position.

The geese were just part of the entertainment on the Zanesville Lock. Depending on what time of year it was, you could count on seeing a steady parade of locals strolling, jogging, fishing or conspiring to commit some sort of criminal activity. (Another recent article listed Zanesville as the violent crime capital of Ohio.) Then there’s the guy who lives on the hillside above the lock — holed up in a fortress walled with old wooden pallets. Years ago, the papers ran stories about him hoarding hundreds of gallons of gasoline in plastic containers. After I read about this, the law against having campfires on the lock didn’t seem all that unreasonable.

Local officials don’t expect the evicted geese to return. According to the newspaper article, they were trapped and moved to an undisclosed location out in Muskingum County. The animal control contractor who relocated the geese told the Times-Recorder the geese had become semi-domesticated. He claimed that the geese had grown so fat and inept that, even if they could figure out how to get back, they couldn’t fly more than 50-100 yards.

The geese are in a better place now, he said. When they say that of humans, it usually means they’re dead. Apparently, that’s not the case with the geese. They were taken to a farm with several ponds and hundreds of acres of land where they can eat healthier and poop to their hearts’ content.

The latter was the main reason they were evicted from Putnam Landing, otherwise known as “Poopnam Landing.”

Rest assured, the geese will be back. Maybe not those geese, but there will be geese converging on Putnam Landing — honking, flapping and crapping to beat the band. Unless the city can get the animal control contractor to trap and relocate the people who were feeding them.

I’d make it a point to camp on the lock just to see that.